Heart Whelming Story of Transgender & Her Struggle

Kinner(known as Hijras in South Asia) are trans-sexual and transgender people. Big numbers in them are men who identified as women. These people go through with a very tough time as the society doesn't seem okay to accept them as they are and also they have to experience unthinkable horror, just because of who they are. 

Saranya is one of those who struggle with society accepting them for who they are.

We believe that we are all human and we all deserve an equal amount of respect, no matter what our gender or beliefs are. That’s why we would like to share with you the incredible story of Saranya.

Saranya’s story begins at the tender age of 11. Her parents had been wanting a boy after already having a daughter, but they knew their boy was different from what they had expected. Although she was not yet aware of her real identity, Saranya had to learn very quickly how to hide things from her family. This only brought her pain, since every time she felt her true identity emerging, she had to deal with severe punishments and very bad reactions from the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally.

At the age of 16, she finally left her biological family to escape from the pain and judgment. She left Pune and went to Bangalore in South India.

Saranya was introduced to her new family by another trans woman and although Kinner live as one community, they reside in different neighborhoods. And each household has a head, or a godmother, who represents the family in meetings with the other families where they discuss important matters.

In those families, there are no husbands, fathers, uncles, sons, or grandsons. It is a woman’s world, the community is made of grandmothers, mothers, aunts, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters. They refer to each other with feminine relative names: Nani for the gurus (or godmothers), khala for the guru’s sisters, and chela for the daughters. Many people use the term shemale to describe a trans woman, but to the Kinner that is highly offensive and, according to them, it mocks and disrespects their gender identity.

When Saranya was accepted to her new family, she had to undergo her toughest challenge yet: her transition to a Hijra and the removal of any trace of her male figure. All Kinner experience an operation called “Nirvan” which means rebirth. It consists of the complete removal of the male genitalia. The operation is very dangerous, especially because it’s done at home, behind closed doors, and not in a hospital. The patient undergoing it experiences immense pain because there is no general anesthesia. However this ritual is said to get rid of the male blood, so the Hijra can be reborn into a woman.

This operation is extremely dangerous and it should never be done at home.

Saranya is now 58 years old and the only family member she remains in touch with is her older sister. Most Kinner isn’t in contact with their families at all, but eventually, they start missing them and try to contact their mothers or even just try to help them financially.

Aside from work, Kinner doesn’t go out to public places like theaters, parks, or restaurants (most restaurants don’t even allow them to dine there). This is why the Kinner prefers to stay at home, where they are safe and surrounded by people who support them and give them companionship. The dream of finding a good husband is what keeps them going during the tough times they face.

Kinner marriages often have horrible endings. A lot of the time they lead to suicide, while in other cases the Kinner doesn’t live with their husbands and only sees them monthly or even once a year. They are forced to use different coping mechanisms to get them through the awful situation they are in and because of what they have to endure when choosing to embrace their true identity.

Saranya, and Kinner alike, are aware of all the discrimination they face when it comes to health, housing, education, immigration, law, employment, and any other bureaucracy that can’t place them into male or female gender categories. They are used to being judged and called “freaks”, “the diseased,” and “the troubled ones” by society. So their only chance of making some kind of living is through begging and courtesanship. The only person who doesn’t work is the Big Guru (or Godmother) of the household, who gets to sleep in a bed and rest at home. While everyone else wakes up every morning, puts on their make-up and their sarees, and leaves the house to make money. They often live in poverty, in small dark homes with no furniture or TV, but they have an obsession with keeping their homes clean.

Do you know someone who may need to read about the strength in this story? Please share it with them!